The Mental Load of Fertility Treatment—and How to Lighten It

Clinically reviewed by Emily Gray, RN

When considering or going through fertility treatment, your mental load may be heavy. You may be carrying the weight of frequent clinic visits, tight injection schedules, and uncertain outcomes. It’s a lot to deal with, and if you are going through it with a partner, the burden may not be completely split. This heavy, uneven mental load may cause a lot of stress—and research shows us that stress levels correlate in some ways with treatment outcomes. You can reduce that mental load by leaning on your support system, prioritizing your health and well-being, and seeking out mental health support when necessary.

What to Know About Fertility and Stress

Family-building is a deeply personal experience that can be full of twists and turns. So, naturally, the process can be stressful. Research consistently demonstrates that people experiencing infertility report mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression. There’s also evidence that the intensity of infertility-related mental health symptoms is comparable to symptoms related to other medical conditions, like hypertension or even cancer. 

Stressors like fertility issues are often out of our control, but taking steps to reduce the burden where you can may be beneficial for your outcomes. Research shows a correlation between reducing high levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and improvement in hormone levels and menstrual cycles. Infertility and stress are interconnected, and decreasing stress levels likely has a positive effect on fertility outcomes. In short, infertility, especially if experienced over many years, can negatively affect mental health. 

Why This Matters for Patients

Carrying a heavy emotional burden can be difficult regardless of the circumstances. In fertility journeys especially, you may be carrying all or most of it on your own. 

You deserve to feel supported through this experience—and managing a lighter mental load could potentially lead to better outcomes.

4 Ways to Reduce Mental Load During Fertility Treatment

We spoke to Lauren Yarberry, a mental health professional and therapist intern with personal experience going through multiple rounds of fertility treatment, about strategies to reduce the mental load during the process.

Lean on your support system

“Social support can play a huge role in helping with the emotional burden especially,” Lauren says. “Infertility can be one of the most isolating experiences, so taking action to change that, such as finding a community that can support you and help you hold some of the anxiety and grief that comes with it is key.” This community could look like friends, support groups, or your therapist. Consider who you feel safe sharing with and who may be less helpful, even if well-intentioned. 

Partners and trusted friends can also help share the burden of treatment. For Lauren, one way to do that was by delegating the task of managing medications and doing the injections.

Your clinic can also be part of your support system. “Choosing a clinic that is organized and detail-oriented can relieve a lot of unnecessary mental burden,” Lauren says. “An organized clinic can avoid miscommunication and streamline the process in a way that reduces some of the back and forth that causes stress.” 

Spiritual practice can also be supportive. While this can include religious practice and places of worship, you may also find comfort in other kinds of rituals, like listening to a specific playlist on the way to appointments or when recovering from treatment.  

Prioritize your emotional well-being

“Healthy practices like yoga or meditation can increase mindfulness, but there are also small actions you can take in the moment to feel more present in your body and grounded,” Lauren says. “Having an affirmation or mantra that really resonates with you, such as ‘Even on my hardest days, I am resilient,’ ‘It's okay to make room for joy (or grief, etc.),’ ‘I can handle overwhelming feelings,’ etc. can be really helpful during tough moments.” The key, Lauren adds, is to personalize the mantra so it feels right for you and your situation.

Finding physical objects that mean something to you can also be grounding. Lauren wore a necklace with an olive branch charm to represent “extending myself grace and peace.” “I often reached for that necklace, ran my fingers over it, tapped it, or held onto it,” she explained.

Another grounding exercise Lauren recommends is the butterfly hug. First, you hook your thumbs and place your palms on your chest. Then you alternate tapping on either shoulder or either side of the collarbone area and say your affirming mantra.

Take time to care for yourself, mind and body

“General healthy habits and restorative practices—paying attention to nutrition, movement, social connection, sleep, etc.—are important in maintaining emotional regulation and clarity throughout the process,” Lauren explains. “Finding something that really makes you feel like you're carving out time to care for yourself can help you with an emotional/mental reset.”

What makes you feel the most cared for? Yoga? A long walk with a friend? Meditation? Cooking for yourself or your loved ones? “Intentionally connecting with yourself in a healthy way can make you feel whole and grounded during a really difficult time,” Lauren says.  

Seek mental health treatment if necessary

“Anytime you're feeling isolated in your experience, feeling like it's causing anxiety or depression, or even if you feel like infertility is straining your relationships,” Lauren says, “it's a good idea to think about getting support from a mental health professional.”

While we often hear of people seeking out professional treatment only when life gets really hard, there’s value in starting earlier to build a supportive foundation for the experience to come. “Infertility can easily overflow into many areas of your life, causing intrusive thoughts, and crowding out joy,” Lauren explains.

There are therapists who specialize in infertility and fertility treatment, including ones who’ve experienced them firsthand. “My own journey with infertility and seeing a therapist who experienced it as well, is what led me to want to support others in this way,” Lauren says. “Part of my practice is seeing couples and individuals experiencing infertility and/or postpartum challenges.”

Next Steps for San Diego Fertility Center Patients

Fertility journeys can feel unpredictable. At San Diego Fertility Center, you can be certain about our commitment to making the process as supportive and manageable as possible. We will be there for you with expertise, guidance, and compassion, every step of the way.

Schedule your consultation today at San Diego Fertility Center.